God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubt. And for when I think I've lost my way, there are no words here left to say, it's true, God gave me you.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

This may be too much...

I hope I don't seem like just a ranting, raveing, whiny, complainer to ya! ha. It's only 10:36 here and I feel overwhelmed, anxious, and not really sure of myself, already!

I wake up on time this morning. I even had time to fix a bowl of cereal and semi-watch an episode of Fresh Prince. I have always been a thinker. Brandt knows if I am sitting anywhere with nothing to do or nothing that interests me, I'll think up the most absurd things. So, this morning, it must have been a commercial break that got me thinking. I looked over to my left and smiled at this amazing man I get to wake up next to every morning. However, as I smiled my mind got to racing at the changes that have been occuring in our lives. I look on facebook daily and I see these pictures of these couples who are so lovey, dovey, and head-over-heels for each other. It just makes me wonder, seriously are they that affectionate and perfect or are they showing off these pictures because there's more than we know going on behind their closed doors?

I have never been in a perfect relationship. I will never be. I can accept that. I can't help but remember the days where Brandt and I couldn't go an hour without hearing one another's voices, would race to jump on each other the moment we were together, always holding hands, taking steps in sync, and just being that couple that makes you wanna barf! ha.

This morning, staring at the most beautiful man I know, it got me thinking, I want to go back to that.

I want to be in a relationship that makes others barf, again!

Why does a relationship have to leave that honeymoon phase? Because you get comfortable and gain a little weight? That's a lame excuse if you ask me! Brandt brings new joy and beauty both physical and emotional to my life everyday. So how did we ever get stuck in this comfy rut?

I know a lot of people are discussing Lent here recently. I'm a Christian but not an every weekend church-goer. We would love to find a church in our area, however, I am ashamed to say this but, it's out of my comfort zone. I am getting there though. This morning, after all my thoughts, I tried to think of a resolution to my excessive pondering. How does a relationship stay in that so-called "honeymoon phase". I do not mean this post in a nieve way either. I am fully aware it is inevitable that relationships have to grow and with growing comes pain, suffering, and struggle. However, I feel like with a little effort from both sides, a relationship could have an everlasting "honeymoon" with small bumps in the road. So, with that said, for my "lent" I am going to strive for a relationship that still has that "spark" and "butterflies" more of the time. I am going to give up my comfortable ways for at least 40 days, hopefully forever. I am going to call just to say "hey, I love you", I'm going to reach over and hold his hand while were watching tv, I'm gonna give big hugs again like we haven't seen each other in days, and I'm just gonna try to be the best supporter and listener, etc.

This post was not meant to be so overly emotional. I want people to know I don't just write on my blog for entertainment purposes only. I'm real! I have real everyday issues with family, friends, Brandt, and even strangers. I want to feel like I can blog in a joking manner on days but also find strength to pour my heart out when needed.

Thanks for listening. I'm off the the Pulmonoligist here soon to see if my pneumonia is all gone. At least my mind is on my relationship and not this awful weather were supposed to get later today! ha

Happy Thursday.


  1. You know this is so true. I was saying to B the other night, we used to hold hands while we watched movies, or you used to let me snuggle on you...or we used to talk on the phone for hours. I miss those things, I just think once we got married we got in a comfy rut like you said. Not that we don't love each other but that we are just comfortable with how we do things now :) I'm going to try to do more things like we used to! Oh, and I don't think this is to much, that's what blogging is for!!

  2. Hopefully soon (sooner than later), I'll get to experience that "honeymooners" love, but I agree with you. Why do people stop doing the things that made you like/love that person? Makes no sense! I've recently seen on Pinterest some pins about writing down some date ideas & you put them on Popsicle sticks and you pull one out for the date you're about to go on. I guess this could pertain to friendships too! I feel like I don't do the same things I used to do with friends anymore. Goes with any relationship...

    Hope you've had a good weekend!!


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